Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
