I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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