Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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