By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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