My first STD was from a foam party
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
