She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
