I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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