i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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