I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
