I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
