i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
