i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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