im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
