You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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