but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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