Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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