i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
