Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize