I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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