There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
