I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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