Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
