i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
