Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
