WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
