Apparently you make a good broom.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
