best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
