Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
