Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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