your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
