I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
