if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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