I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
