If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
