You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
