I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
