Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
