I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
