Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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