Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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