Having a random hookup so left but love u
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need water and some morals
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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