so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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