Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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