Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
