Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ugly people sure do ruin things
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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