Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
