just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
