Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
