RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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