Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou

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(310): View more from California

He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(313): View more from Michigan

Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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(707): View more from California

She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...

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(315): View more from New York

He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.

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