3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
