p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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