just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
