Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
two words: eviction party
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
