His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want to be your penis for a week.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
