All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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