do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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