I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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