so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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