do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
