i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
