so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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