she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
