But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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