why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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