Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

im so drunk with asians

(1-614): View more from Ohio

where?

(614): View more from Ohio

always

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.

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(719): View more from Colorado

She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.

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(801): View more from Utah

Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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(226): View more from Ontario

Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..

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(443): View more from Maryland

The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday

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