Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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